Monday, August 18, 2008

Just Venting


I am alive! And I am back from an overall successful and pleasant business trip. I'll tell you about all of it in my next post.

Right now I am a little bit grumpy. Turns out that while I was gone, the Bishop asked the YW and YM to provide some volunteers to go to the Bishop's Storehouse. This is a good opportunity for some of the older youth to participate in a service experience. I have no problem with that. Except that no one told me about it until yesterday. I have three YW planning on going (our designated amount) and one of the girls gave me the impression that the Bishop was going as well. So today I asked the Bishop about it and he told me that the assignment needs to be three YW, three YM, plus leaders (and he's not going). And, since the YM leaders work during the day, the leader needs to be from the YW. Super. It is this Thursday from 9am to 2:30pm (not counting driving time). There are only three leaders in the Young Women who do not work away from home during the day. And guess who is probably going to end up going? Yep... me.

Don't judge me too hastily. I am normally a service-loving gal. In fact, I am very aware that there are things that we do just because they need to be done. And that part of being a member of our Church is donating our time to help others. But right now, I am feeling less than excited about this. I have now had three days notice, and I have a preschool meeting already scheduled that day that I will have to miss. I need to find a babysitter for three children, one of whom has never been left without either Mommy or Daddy for more than four hours. But I will figure all of that out.

What is really bugging me right now is the whole "stay-at-home-mom" thing. I kind of feel like more and more women in my Church are working outside of the home, either out of necessity or out of desire. Because of that, so many times things that happen during the day are taken care of by those who are SAHMs. And yes, part of the reason I am a SAHM is so I can be available to help others. I just get a little tired of people thinking that if you're a SAHM you have nothing better to do all day than cater to the things the "working" men and women can't do. Like because I'm at home, it's no big deal for me to rearrange things and fulfill assignments. Because I'm too stupid to have a full time job, I should not ever complain if I have to leave my kids with someone or pay someone to watch them so that I can jump to every need with very little notice. We are living on one income so I can be at home to raise my children and sometimes I feel I am looked down on or even penalized because of my choice. Does anyone else feel this way or am I on a selfish soap-box? Don't worry; I won't shirk my duty, but I'd just like to feel appreciated once in a while. Like a simple thank-you from "smart" moms with full-time jobs. What do you think? If you are a SAHM, how do you deal with this situation? And you're welcome to tell me to buck up and stop being a baby :)

7 comments:

COOLWHIP said...

I smile.....
I know how you feel. Like everyone asking me why I don't join the PTA. I like uncomplicated. I like no stress, i don't deal with it well. It has nothing to do with not wanting to support my childrens ed. I just do it from home, and on the school work home work level. That is all i can muster right now, haveing 2-3 kids still at home. Some day, i will do the PTA and field trip thing. I am involved with every aspect of their lives, and i couldn't maintain that, and work. So luckily i have the choice not to.
And no, i don't like leaving my kids with people. And frankly, unless someone is dying. I won't

Jen said...

OK, maybe I'm not the one to ask. Maybe you are just a much better woman than I am, but I would kindly and unashamedly say no to this assignment.

Even without the pre-k meeting, which is reason enough, I would not go through the hassle of an all-day sitter right after being gone for a week from your older kids. You are not expected to do that any more than someone with a "job" is expected to take a day off. Even less so. There, you have my opinion :)

COOLWHIP said...

Jen, you always say the right things

Kristy said...

I agree with all above. Now for my added whine...how come the "Working" moms all think I am a great babysitter. In the last 2 weeks I have had 2 different ladies ask me to watch their kids while they go to work. One didn't even want to pay me. I would already be home with my kids for 8 hours so why couldn't hers just come and HANG out? I am a SAHM for my children, not other peoples children. I am a great sitter in emergency situations, but not on a daily basis. I am just a better mother when I don't have to do that.

Litnak Family said...

Funny you say this because my Mom is still not in the work force and the people in her new ward were bewildered when they found out that she wasn't working and that all her kids were grown up enough to take care of themselves. Why can't she stay home?? Why does she "HAVE" to work? I love being able to go visit or have her watch her grand babies while I do Dr. appointments or what not. I think that I can fullfill my callings and things better because I have a mother and mother-inlaw that is available to help me out because they were SAHMs.

bilingualandmore said...

Well, you DO have a full-time job and have all the right to say no. Others, who have a full-time position just have decided to pay someone to do the job they exchange for having their job. I have a part-time job that allows me to work whenever I can, still give a helping hand to an extend. You have to learn to say no, for your sake and the sake of your children. People cannot just expect you to drop everything. That is not your job!!!

the lazy reader said...

I feel your frustration. Serving in the church is important. And I have a mortal fear of letting people down and often can't say no. But all these wise ladies are right - your family should come first because raising your family and keeping your home is your work. The women who work for a paycheck simply pay someone else to do part of that work for them. We should all learn to stand up for ourselves and sometimes say, "I'm sorry but I can't. I have work to do at home. Maybe next time."