Saturday, June 19, 2010

Grandma

Girls Camp begins in 31 hours. Wow.

But although I should be packing, planning, making lists and checking them twice, I am kind of in a daze. My sweet Grandma is in the hospital (a surprise to all) and she's almost definitely not going to make it. And I am so sad and a little bit in shock. I didn't think it would be that hard. In fact, she's almost 95 so really, I've been kind of preparing for this for, well, pretty much my whole life. But now I don't feel ready. There are many things I wish I would have said or done in the past few weeks but now don't have the chance. I've always felt so close to her and I selfishly do not want her to be gone. Not yet. But I am so grateful for the knowledge I have of life after death and that families can be together forever. We will see her again, of this I am certain. It brings me peace.

Like my sister, I plan to post some memories and tributes, but can't bring myself to do it right now.

But until then - you can see the video of Grandma and the Buggs. I keep watching it over and over because it's so precious to me.

Or read my mother's day tribute that includes her.

See her with me and the three older kiddos.

This is Grandma with her namesake (PJ's middle name is Grandma's name)

Here's one of my last pictures of her. Oh, how she's loved my babies! And how they've loved her...


Love you Grandma! With all my heart!

3 comments:

sully said...

So sad! I hope you get to be with her when she goes home, I will tell you from experience (4 times) that NEVER, NEVER, NEVER are we closer (except in childbirth & I really don't think we are in tune to it then) to those who have passed through before as we are when we are letting go of a loved one. If you get to be with her, take a moment in the quiet to open yourself to the experience. I have stood in awe at the reasurance I have recieved that when I have had to let go of someone dear, THERE IS OTHERS waiting to embrace them. Wishing you a quiet heart & sending prayers your way!
love, Us

Lindsay said...

My thoughts are with you and your fam...

I have a good life said...

Reading your blog, it is difficult to believe that she is really gone! I love her so much. I love you so much. I am glad we live close to each other. Thank-you.