Thursday, March 26, 2009

Too Much

Sorry I haven't been back. I have good intentions, really, but things have been rather harried for the past few weeks - well, um - actually months... probably years. This is my problem:

I don't know how well you can see this, but this is a pie chart of my life right now. And my plate is too full! I am overflowing, things are falling off my plate and some things barely make it on. Since the writing is hard to see here are my responsibilities, listed from biggest to smallest:
  • Family - husband, three kids 4 and under: all the playing, reading, dancing, breaking up fights, FHEs, teaching, awesome moments of being a wife and mother
  • YW - includes all meetings, calls, emails, visits, activities, etc
  • Housework - includes cooking, cleaning, laundry, lawn-mowing, weeding, shopping
  • Work - my actual employment with Alphabet Garten
  • Coaching Soccer - The Bubbs is rockin' it on her first soccer team (hopefully I will post on that soon) and I agreed to be the assistant coach, so I'm heavily involved in all the practices/games
  • Running Errands/Appointments - 50 billion doctor's visits with PJ, dentists, car maintenance, etc
  • Other Church - Primary, Enrichment and other ward activities, supporting DH in his responsibilities
  • Hosting Online Book Group - We're reading Gaskell's Wives and Mothers
  • Chauffeuring - 'nuff said. :)
  • Teaching Preschool - Both the Bubbs and Simster are in co-op preschools. Which means I take my turn to teach (I'll be teaching five weeks worth between now and mid-May).
  • VTing - I'm not really good at it, but I try. And I need to go. And it's already March 26.
  • Personal - things like scriptures, exercise, etc
  • Other - Encompasses holidays, birthdays, baby showers, babysitting friends' kids, TV watching, you know...
I did this exercise mostly for myself, but I thought I would share. I am just, well, swamped, all day every day. And it's not that I dread or detest any of these things (although they all have their moments - let's be honest, I don't always love cleaning toilets). I WANT to do all of these things and more! I feel sad and a little guilty when someone asks me to do something or join something or participate in something and I say no. Ever since I can remember, I have filled up my schedule to the very brim. With good things.

In a wonderful talk entitled "Good, Better, Best" Elder Dallin H. Oaks said:
"Some uses of individual and family time are better, and others are best. We have to forego some good things in order to choose others that are better or best because they develop faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and strengthen our families."
I agree with this and have tried to apply it to my life. I try to make my family and church the top priorities.

But this goes a little deeper. There are many times when I have wanted someone else to do some of these things. I ask for volunteers and everyone has an excuse. Even though I am full to the brim, I know that things need to be done and since no one has volunteered, I know that if I don't do it, it won't get done. And it NEEDS to get done! This seems to happen a lot in YW with me. I guess I have set a precedant of just doing it if no one else does, so they know they can tell me no and I'll just do it. But it is wearing. me. out. And I don't think I can pull this off much longer. Anyone have suggestions on how to break the cycle? How come so many people (generalizing here) don't seem to feel any guilt about saying no when things need to be done?

And how come I feel guilty for watching a 30-minute television show or a basketball game with my hubby? Or sitting down at the sewing machine and making a nightgown for the Bubbs? Or hanging out with friends? Or blogging? I enjoy taking a break to read a book or play a quick game of Tetris but then spend the rest of the day feeling like I am a waste of life because my to-do list is out of control and I shouldn't take that time.

Anyway, basically this post is more self-exploration than anything else. But I know many of you who read this (when I actually blog) face or have faced similar challenges. How do you do it? What's your solution?

(Here's what Simster thinks of this long-winded post. Hee hee)